"Kelley," I yelled. "Get in here and look at this." The top of my right thigh showcased a huge knot covered by a just appearing bruise. Earlier in the day, I had found a dark purple shadow covering my right elbow, one on my left knee and now this, the size of a golf ball taking over my right leg. She hurried in and we both stared in horror at the knot that moved as we poked at it. "What did you DO?" She asked.
I couldn't remember. I have walked and ran and tripped through so many airports (11) in the past week and a half, I couldn't remember what I might have done. These bruises appeared out of nowhere. I have been running through this trip at breakneck speed, laughing, loving, healing, embracing joy. Somewhere along the way, I managed to slam so hard into some piece of resistance I bruised myself without even noticing.
And it isn't just physically.
This trip is already changing me. I told someone the other day, "I can feel the last vestiges of who I was coming off. I'm leaving the pieces behind in each city. They fall off on plane rides and as I race to reach the next gate for my flight. I am becoming. It is good."
And it is. It is good. It is beautiful. Within twenty-four hours of saying those words, one of those pieces I had left behind tried to reattach itself to me.
But I fought. And handled it. I shook it off and left it in the dust. The next day, once the nausea had settled, I found myself a little stiff. Laughter still came and so did the embracing joy but the tears came faster too.
Mutiny isn't for the faint of heart. I'm ten days in and I have stood on mountain tops. Today it was the floor of Mission Control at NASA Johnson while CAPCOM talked to the astronauts up on the Space Station. I have also laid in the valley like that moment curled up on a bed as nausea overwhelmed me at that ugly piece of the past which tried to reinhabit my life. It is all worth it. It is all part of the journey.
Mutiny is like that. It will leave you with random bruises. You may not even remember the exact moment when you met up with the resistance which caused it. But recognize this, a bruise is a reminder that even though you slammed against resistance, you have moved past it. You will feel some discomfort from the moment, maybe even some nausea and a bit of pain. There will be a discoloration and weakness in that area for a few days. Just hold on. You are still moving forward and away from the object which caused it.
Random bruising is temporary. It isn't a setback. If you want to live this adventure called life, get accustomed to it happening once and awhile. Adventuring and the people you meet along the way will open you up and suck you dry and fill you back up again. This life and it is meant for living. Don't back away from it because you are afraid of a few random bruises. They will fade. Not even their memory will remain. But the laughter and love and embracing joy, those memories are inked upon your soul. Soul writings not random bruisings, this is what will last.